DINNER DINNER

The day before yesterday I played host to a dinner party, among our guests were two couples. One without children, another with two teenage children and ourselves with 8 month old master Omer. The couple with no children were discussing their plans to go trekking and climb up to Everest base camp in the holidays along with other wierd and wonderful adventures on their to do list. The couple with the older children, left before having tea, preoccupied with the notion that their teenage son may not have got himself organised to eat the dinner which had been left out for him.

Caught between day dreaming about exotic holidays, hearing my husband chiming in...'we'd like to do that too, perhaps when Omer is older',.and sensing the agitation in my fellow mother at the table; it dawned on me that I had changed. Unlike my husband I am no longer planning what I'd like to do when Omer is older, because I know that even when he is older and the opportunity arises to do all those things, without him, I too will be forever wondering if he managed to get organised and eat his dinner!

What is with that? When does it all happen? When do we change so dramatically? I can't pinpoint the moment it happens but all of a sudden thinking about Omer has permeated every fibre of my being. I mean I know couples with older children who are always planning things they can finally do when their children leave the nest, but then I know just as many couples whose nest is now empty, whose lists are thrown out the window, and whose only preoccupation is when the family can be reunited, however briefly.

I know now I'm stuck. There is no going back. I am fully impregnated and one segment of my brain will always be devoted to Omer. As if i needed proof, you will not believe this, the phone just rang, it was my mother and after a brief conversation about what was happening here she casually posed the question '...so what did you have for dinner tonight?'